


A Clueless Cousin

by kingstonavery (jesmalestiel)



Category: Clueless (1995), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/F, F/M, Family, Gen, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8686771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesmalestiel/pseuds/kingstonavery
Summary: Harry goes to live with his other aunt in 1981, and has a loving family behind him when he goes to Hogwarts. 
The underage tag is ONLY for people who are underage with each other.
Originally posted on fanfiction.net under 'kingstonavery'.





	1. Prologue & Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create the world of Harry Potter or the world of Clueless. Those belong to the people that they belong to, which are not me. 
> 
> This was posted on an old account of mine on fanfiction.net and I wrote it years ago. Original notes are included with the text. I'm thinking of re-writing it, or picking up where I left off, but I wanted to gauge interest first. Leave a review if this is something you'd enjoy reading more of. I want to write more, and I have several ideas, but I also want people to be interested.

**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.

 **Authors Note:** This is a writing exercise, I'm supposed to write a crossover fic. I figured I might as well post it. Just so we are clear, this is not Harry/Cher, I only have them as the main characters because you have to include one from each section, mkay? Also, Petunia is BLONDE according to the books, so she is blonde in this story as well. And another note, this is based off of the movie _Clueless_ , I have not seen, nor do I have any interest in seeing the TV show. With all that I know they've changed, I have no interest in it. Without further ado, Here is the prologue of 'A Clueless Cousin'.

**Prologue**

When Petunia Dursley opened up her door to find a baby on her doorstep, she was less than enthused. She quickly brought the baby in, and pondered what to do with it. Finding the letter, her face paled dramatically. She knew that she didn't want that unnaturalness in her house, but Vernon would be even worse if he knew. She stowed the baby away in he closet, and put the milk bottles out. Thankfully the baby made no noise, and after seeing Vernon off to work, she sighed in relief that Dudley was such a heavy sleeper, and took little Harry out of the closet. His bright green eyes opened, and she stared at those eyes. Her little sister's eyes. Petunia's composure broke, and she allowed herself to cry quietly for the death of her sister. They hadn't always gotten along, but they were still family.

Even so, she didn't want the little brat in her house. She sat him up in Dudley's highchair, and feed him some applesauce. He didn't say anything, didn't cry, only looked at her curiously with those little green eyes. Lily's eyes, haunting Petunia from beyond the grave. What could she do? There was nothing to do. Dumbledore insisted on leaving Harry with Petunia, his only living relative. Wait. But she wasn't! Petunia wasn't Harry's only relative! There was always Jasmine. The older sister that their grandmother had doted on, the oldest, the sweetest, the prettiest, kindest, most perfect. She had moved with their grandmother to the states back before they learned Lily was a witch, and she should still be living there now! Petunia scrambled to find the phone, thankful that Vernon had several overseas clients and their home phone had international calling. She looked up the number. The phone rang for a long time before someone answered.

"Who the hell is this!? Do you know what time it is!? Some of us have to work in the morning!" that would be Jasmine's husband, Petunia inwardly cursed, how could she have forgotten about the time difference.

"This is Petunia, Jasmine's sister? I live in England, I'm sorry it's eight in the morning here-" but Mel wasn't listening.

"Petunia darling, did you have to call at such an hour, I do need my beauty sleep," Jasmine yawned.

"Lily's dead Jasmine," Petunia started to cry again.

"Oh my! I knew I should have keep better contact with her. What about her husband? And the baby! Is the baby okay?"

"Her husband is dead as well, I have Harry," Petunia informed her.

"Is he alright?"

"I think so. He hasn't made any noise or anything. But Jasmine, I can't take care of him! It's hard enough with Dudley, and I hate to say it, but we can't afford a nanny. I don't know what to do!"

"Think nothing of it little sister. Mel and I have more than enough money. And Cher could use a playmate. I'll fly out first thing in the morning. Do you have all of the papers?" Jasmine asked. Petunia was relieved, thankfully Dumbledore had included official papers. She hadn't signed them, and now she didn't have to.

After finishing her conversation, she hung up, dried her eyes and flipped her long blonde hair and smirked.

_Take that you miserable old coot._

**Authors Note 2:** Like all authors, I really appreciate reviews!

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

 **Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.

 **Authors Note:** This has, quite frankly, gotten more attention than I expected. So I was motivated to write more, as if it had gone largely ignored I would've just left it as a oneshot. But I shall write more now! I am officially invested in this story and will give it just as much attention as I give _A Trio at War Through Time_. For my purposes Cher almost two years older than Harry. The way I see it, she was born in April of 1979, but I'm having her birthday be September 7th 1978 even though that's not exactly true to the movie. Thanks again, and onto the story! (This chapter was re-uploaded because it didn't have page breaks).

**Chapter 1**

Jasmine was glad to leave England, and her sister's family. Vernon definitely wasn't her favorite person in the world. Vernon was an unhealthy bigot, and she was glad to relieve her nephew of the burden that would come with living amongst them. She also knew that they hated magic, which is why she kept knowledge of her own magical powers from them.

Their grandmother, Melinda Evans, neé Urquart, had been a witch. Their father Sean was a squib, and their mother Jessica, a muggle Neither of them knew of magic, as Melinda had kept it as her own secret. Melinda was a seer, and she knew that her son should remain unaware of his lack of magic. She also knew that Jasmine had to be taken away to America, and that her talents should be hidden from her family. When Lily unexpectedly proved to be magical Melinda knew that she had to keep silent, though she surprised Lily with a visit to Hogsmede on a weekend, bringing Jasmine along.

The two sisters communicated via magical mirrors until the day before Lily died. Jasmine knew exactly why they were hiding, how important Harry was going to be, and what the blood protection Lily did would do. Petunia rejecting all that was probably one of the stupider things she could have done, giving up that protection. But Jasmine always thought Petunia was a bit of an idiot, and the only smart thing she had done was call Jasmine in the first place.

Unfortunately she was very into the whole 'generous and loving sister' thing, and flaunted it, so she insisted that Jasmine stay in their home. The mid-sized guest room was a little more cramped then she was used to. She was outraged that Harry was being kept in a basket, instead of at least sharing with Dudley. Of course this meant that she kept him in the small full-sized bed with her, a discrete parameter spell keeping Harry from falling off. She needn't have worried though, because Harry clung to her like a second skin as soon as she got there. Jasmine figured that this was because Harry had probably never even heard of the Dursleys, but frequently saw Jasmine in pictures and in the mirror.

Jasmine was worried that he wouldn't speak, and resolved to take him to see a healer when she was back in America. Thankfully all of the paperwork went through. The guardianship papers were ironclad, and magically sealed. It was easy enough to change them over, since the wording was vague, only referencing the guardian as 'the sister of the mother' and as such, it only took about three days. Even so, Jasmine stayed for a week, including two days for travel because she wanted to do some shopping, buying new clothes and toys for Harry. She steered clear of the magical sectors, doing most all of her shopping at Harrods, because they had, well, everything. She also picked up a few things for herself, and Cher, and Mel. Then she bought Petunia a little something because even though her sister was a nasty bigot like her husband, she was still her sister.

* * *

"Daddy when's mommy coming back?" Cher asked, head tipped to the side.

"Today. Ricky is picking her and your cousin from England," Mel replied shortly, though with a caring tone. He wasn't the best father, but he loved Cher.

"Eww, Dudley? He doesn't share! And he's always crying!" Cher protested.

"No. You're other cousin, Harry. Be nice, he's going to live with us from now on," Mel informed her.

"Oh. We never see Harry 'cept in the mirror. Why is he gunna live with us? Are auntie Lily and unca James coming too?" Cher was curious once more.

"His parents can't take care of him anymore. They're dead," Mel's eyes widened as the words came unbidden out of his mouth. He must be really tired to have let that slip.

"Auntie Lily and unca James are dead?" Cher's lip trembled.

"I-"

"We're home!" Jasmine called out.

"Mommy!" Cher ran out and tackled Jasmine's legs, crying hysterically. Meanwhile Harry was ousted from his grip on Jasmine's long skirt. He stumbled back, but didn't say anything, his bright green eyes merely wide open and staring. "Mommy is it true? Are auntie Lily and Unca James dead?"

"Yes darling, I'm sorry to say that it's true. Now I need you to be strong, because we have to be there for your cousin Harry. They were his parents," Jasmine crouched down to Cher's level and smoothed down her hair.

Cher nodded through her tears. "Hi Harry, I'm Cher," Cher held out her hand, but Harry didn't know what she was doing it for, so he simply stared. Cher frowned and lowered her hand.

Harry hid behind Jasmine's long skirts, she sighed and picked him up. She was worried about him, and resolved to take him to a healer first thing in the morning. In the meantime she made her way up to the large room that was going to be Harry's. It had a Queen-sized bed onto which she placed more charms so that he wouldn't fall off. Cher was following them, and talking excitedly about how their rooms were right next to each other and showing him all around. Or at least she was trying, she was only three feet tall, and Harry was up in the arms of her mother who was five eight and wearing heels.

When they got to the room, Jasmine showed Harry where everything was, and attempted to place him on the bed, but he refused to let go of her. This was standard, as it had happened in England as well.

* * *

The next morning Jasmine took Harry to a healer. It was all that she could do to separate herself from him so that the healer could perform the tests. He looked terrified when the healer pointed her wand at him. After several diagnostic spells that made the healer get more and more pale as she went on, she finally sighed and pulled Jasmine to the side, erecting a privacy spell.

"Jasmine, we've been friends for a long time, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you did not know what was going on with this little boy and did not cause any of his problems," the healer hissed.

"Clara, this boy is my nephew. His parents died less than a fortnight ago, and I have only had custody of him for four days. I only got back to America yesterday. I came to see you as soon as I could. What's wrong with him?" Jasmine asked worriedly.

He has been cursed. That is no ordinary scar on his forehead. It holds a shard of an evil soul. And not only that, but he has his magic bound. It seems as though someone placed a faulty binding, as if it wasn't done by a particularly skilled wizard. It's not just binding, it's eating at his magical core. But like I said, wasn't a particularly skilled wizard, so it's not really working. In addition, there seems to be some sort of blood magic blocking it, and his body is automatically drawing in magic from some other force that's keeping it at bay. Though the soul shard is working on the side of the block as well. It's putting a lot of strain on his body, which is probably why he won't talk. If I don't remove it soon, it'll only get worse," Clara was relieved that Jasmine looked just as horrified as she felt.

"How soon can you remove them?"

"I can remove the attempted block today easily, but the soul shard will take more research. It's very dark magic," Clara sighed. "It'll be painful if we don't knock him out, but a stunning spell might seriously hurt him since he's so young, same deal with muggle anesthesia. The draught of living death is also not an option. Of course the longer we wait the more it will hurt," Clara frowned.

"I hate to cause him pain, but it will be better in the long run if we do this now," Jasmine nibbled on her lip.

After much deliberation, they decided to go forward with the procedure.

Harry screamed, then cried, and it nearly broke Jasmine's heart. This was the first time he had made any noise, and she hated it. She was determined to turn whoever had hurt Harry so badly into mincemeat. The thought of doing such a thing to a child was utterly disgusting.

As soon as Clara said it was safe, Jasmine dashed over to Harry and removed the safety bindings that held him in place before pulling him into her arms. He was still crying.

"Shush, it's okay love. Everything is fine. You're going to be fine," she smoothed down his hair and repeatedly kissed his forehead. Harry slowly stopped crying as Jasmine rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"I-I wanna go hwome. Where mumma?" He sniffled, and a distraught Jasmine looked at Clara who looked just as upset.

"Harry love, you can't go home. Your mommy- your mommy had to go away. She didn't want to, but she had to. And she can't come back," Jasmine was also crying, but was doing her best to keep her composure.

"Wha bout daddy?" Harry's lip trembled.

"He- he had to go to. I'm sorry Harry. But you're always welcome in my home, with your uncle Mel and cousin Cher. We're going to go there now, and you can meet them properly," Jasmine finally regained what little was left of her strength, and go up to leave, still holding onto Harry tightly. He clung to her even more than he had been during the past week, and started to cry once more.

"Jasmine," Clara stopped her as she passed by her on the way out.

"Yes?"

"That's Harry Potter isn't it?"

"Yes, Potter is his last name, why do you ask?" Jasmine was confused.

"Because rumor has it that he defeated Lord Voldemort," Clara gave her a wry smile.

"What?" Jasmine's eyes widened.

"You and I both know that it's more likely something that his parents did. But I would keep his true name hidden if I were you. He'll be famous, even here in America. I'll keep this a secret, but you can't count on everyone else doing so. A change of appearance might be in order," Clara advised.

"I'll think about it."

"And that's all you need to do right now."

 **Authors Note 2:** Like all authors, I really appreciate reviews! Thanks to everyone who read this all! I know my chapters aren't exactly long, but in order to update in a timely matter I have to keep them a little short. And finally, like all authors, I really appreciate reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create the world of Harry Potter or the world of Clueless. Those belong to the people that they belong to, which are not me.
> 
> This was posted on an old account of mine on fanfiction.net and I wrote it years ago. Original notes are included with the text. I'm thinking of re-writing it, or picking up where I left off, but I wanted to gauge interest first. Leave a review if this is something you'd enjoy reading more of. I want to write more, and I have several ideas, but I also want people to be interested.

**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me. (No, seriously people I don't know... Anyone who does know, let me know, ya know? okay, that was an unnecessary amount of 'knows' er, sorry 'bout that).

 **Authors Note:** I know that seven reviews isn't a lot to some people, but it means the world to me. Since I don't know who the guests were, I can't thank them personally, but just know that it's you guys who keep me writing! There's an itty bitty time jump, but don't worry, we're not quite Hogwarts age yet. Oh, and Jasmine's eyes are green for a reason, though I know they're supposed to be blue, if the painting in the movie is any indication. Oh, and I really am trying for weekend updates, but I was in rehearsal all day Saturday and visiting my grandmother in the hospital on Sunday. And next weekend is the show, so this is tech week and it's just a mess, but I got this chapter out as soon as I could! Onto the story!

**Chapter 2**

Gradually, Harry got used to life in the Horowitz home. He was a little wary of them at first, because even though he had seen them in the mirror, he wasn't as familiar with them. Two years passed, and he started to be very comfortable with them. He grew used to having Lucy clean up his messes, Cher using him as a dress up doll. Mel's impromptu lessons on bargaining for what you want, Jasmine's structured lessons on the world in general, and how they had to keep their magic a secret. Of course, Mel, Cher, Lucy, Jose, and Ricky were all magical, so they didn't have to keep it a secret in the house, but outside they did.

Harry also learned how to lie, because he was the most important secret of all- Harry James Potter. Of course, everyone was told he was Hadrian Lawrence Alexander, and that his parents died in a car crash.  
But Harry knew the truth, and he often had terrible nightmares because of it.

It broke Jasmine's heart that her sister's child, who was quickly becoming as precious to her as her own, was hurting so badly. But if she thought things were bad after the unbinding, they were even worse after the purifying ritual. The destruction of what they now realized was a horcrux, was awful. The spirit attempted to possess the healer, and she almost died before someone had the good idea to trap it in a bracelet, which was then destroyed by Jasmine via an extremely controlled fiendfyre.

Jasmine was very relieved that it had worked, for she wasn't sure that even fiendfyre would work on such an evil object. Once that was over with, she was relived, but she then had a traumatized toddler on her hands, and still had no clue whether the bastard had made any more of those things.

Still, that was a year ago, and three-year-old Harry's nightmares were getting better, even if they were still really bad. During the day, he managed to still have some fun, especially with Cher. She had always liked dress up dolls, and one that could move around by his/itself was even better. And as Harry got older he could even add his own opinions, a quality that Cher also appreciated. Harry was becoming quite the fashionista, and how could he not considering he practically worshiped the ground that Cher walked on. He would do anything to please his big cousin, and tried to copy everything that she did, as children are prone to do. And since Cher did everything her mother did, for the exact same reason, Jasmine had a lot of influence over both of them. Harry also admired Mel to a certain extent, and he knew that Mel loved him in his own way, but he wasn't as good at showing it as Jasmine and Cher were. Given, they showered him with more affection than most people know how to deal with, but Harry needed it. Harry got everything he had ever wanted.

Except his parents back.

* * *

To say that Harry wasn't pleased when he discovered that Cher was starting Kindergarten and he still had to stay at home is a massive understatement. Similarly, Cher was not exactly thrilled herself. Considering that they had hardly been separated in the three years since Harry's arrival, it shouldn't have been that surprising to Jasmine. Sadly though, it was.

"I'm not leaving Harry."

"And I'm not leaving Cher."

The respective four and five year olds were not backing down, both with scowls and arms crossed.

"Well what do you propose then?" Jasmine asked with a bemused smile.

"Alter Harry's age records so he can come to school this year. I know you can, you have enough magic to fake the records. You're the smartest, prettiest and most wonderful witch in the world, not to mention your are a superb mother and have a fabulous fashion sense," Cher smiled sweetly.

"That's a nice try, but lots of people already know that Harry is only four-"

"Actually, they don't."

Jasmine jumped when she heard her grandmother's voice, and sighed at her ghost.

"Care to explain?" Jasmine asked Melinda, who was slowly floating around in circles.

"I may have convinced Mel to change Harry's birth year to 1979 instead of 1980," Melinda replied innocently.

"And what else have you been up to as a ghost for the past four years? I didn't even know that you were still a ghost!" Jasmine exclaimed.

"I was haunting my brother and his wife. I even managed to save his life, Venomous Tentacula's aren't pleasant, but I got him help in time so that he didn't die. His wife was ever so thankful. They had only just gotten married three years ago. Poor woman, I doubt she could survive another heartbreak. If you ever go back to Britain you should visit them, they have a nice little cottage in Hogsmede, and they just recently adopted an orphan and had their nephew stay with them for a year, along with his mother," Melinda told them sweetly.

"I get the feeling that there is more to this story that you aren't telling me," Jasmine frowned.

"Ah well, you know those feelings, not always accurate of course, but you might be right. Anyway, I should probably explain myself to the children. Good afternoon, Cher, Harry. I'm your great grandmother Melinda! It's nice to meet you! I'd give you a hug, but we don't share the same plane of existence! You can call me Nana, Grammie, Gramma, Grandma, Grandmother-" Melinda diverted cheerfully.

"I'll stick with Nana," Cher cut her off quickly.

"So will I!" Harry exclaimed. "And thank you for making sure that Cher and I could be in the same grade!"

"Well there's only the one thing Harry, and that's that in order for this to work properly, you need to actually be the same age, or else magic won't accept it and when you go to a magical school, you'll still be a year below her," Melinda informed him, and Harry's face fell.

"Well how are we gonna do that?" Harry frowned.

"Time travel! It's quite simple actually! You're going to go back in time and re-live this past year, to the day!"

"Grandmother, what on earth are you talking about? He can't do that! He's only four, and he'll be all alone, with not even letters because I would certainly remember if I got a letter from Harry! And I refuse to be separated from him and-"

"For the love of Merlin will I ever shut up?" Jasmine's eyes widened as she looked over and saw herself standing in the doorway.

"Mommy, why are there two of you and Harry?" Cher tugged on present Jasmine's dress.

"I think that Harry and I went back in time for a year, and that's us," Jasmine replied faintly.

"I'm a genius!" future Jasmine applauded.

"When do we leave? And can Cher come?" present Harry asked.

"No, she's not allowed," future Harry frowned.

"So you haven't seen me for a year?" Cher's eyes widened.

"Yeah," future Harry sighed.

"Oh no! Harry! I'll miss you!" she hugged present Harry.

"But I'm right over there-" present Harry pointed.

"Harry I missed you!" Cher tacked future Harry with a hug.

"I missed you more," future Harry pointed out.

"No you- oh. I guess you did. What have you been up to?"

Just as future Harry was about to say, Melinda stopped him.

"Sorry, I can't tell you until I go back in the past, which should be in about an hour," future Harry shrugged.

"How are we going to go back in the past anyway?" present Jasmine wondered.

"With my old family spell book," Mel explained, walking into the room.

"You knew?" present Jasmine asked.

"Of course I did. How else could both you and Harry spend money for a whole year without my noticing that our bank account was losing money? Any way, it took me a year, but I finally got my hands on the book. You can use the spell to bring you and Harry back in time, and it will bring you to my office, where you will explain everything to me and I'll give you new credit cards for your accounts in England.

"Why England?" present Jasmine wondered.

"Because we are going to go see my brother's wife and their family," Melinda told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which after thinking about it, Jasmine supposed it was.

* * *

After a dizzying trip to the past, and an explanation to Mel, Harry and Jasmine set out to England. On their way however, they heard shots from a house along the way. Jasmine ordered Harry to stay in the car as she went to investigate, but Harry ignored this and followed her. Their driver was calling 911 while she walked into the house. The front door was open, so that made it rather easy. As soon as she walked in, she was appalled to see a man crumpled on the floor, as if he had been shoved down the tall staircase, gun in hand. He had a broken neck. Up at the top was a woman, holding onto her side, which was bleeding profusely.

"Help my son, please. I don't care about me. I'm going to die anyway, but my son... he has no one. Help him please," the woman gasped.

"Of course I will, I swear it!" Jasmine was frantic, trying to think of a way to save this poor woman.

"Good, I'll hold you to that." Jasmine was confused until she realized that her hand was also bleeding, and their blood had been shared. The woman died, but not before both she and Jasmine were bathed in a red glow.

"She was a witch wasn't she?" Harry asked quietly. Jasmine's eyes widened with shock. Harry didn't need to see things like that, not when he was already having such awful nightmares.

"Oh Harry-"

"We need to find her son. Before the cops get here. Then fake his death, and bring him to England with us. They'll never let us take him legally, so we need to kidnap him. You heard what Nana said, an orphan was also living with us in England. And if she was a witch, then he's probably a wizard, so we should bring him," Harry reasoned. Jasmine was not happy that Harry was so blasé about the two dead bodies in the vicinity, in fact it terrified her, almost as much as the thought that he was right.

With two of themselves running around, and unable to explain time travel to muggle cops, not to mention that time travel was illegal, or at least heavily regulated by the wizard cops.

So Jasmine quickly found the boy using homenum revelio, and immidiately hit him with a sleeping spell. Stretched for time, she plucked out a piece of his hair, grew a new (dead) body out of it, complete with a bullet hole in the head, accompanied by a bloody bullet matching the gun. She winced even as she forged the evidence. She was more than a little angry that she had been put in this position, and didn't like that Harry was there for it. She then placed the clone in the arms of his mother, erased all evidence that they had ever been inside, and jumped back in the car.

Ricky made sure to cast a notice-me-not on the car, and since the call had been anonymous and the house had been on a lone road, there were no witnesses. Since she and Harry already had disguises and passports made magically it was easy enough for them to create one for the other sleeping boy, who they supposed was about Harry's age. He woke up by the time they were at the airport however.

"Where am I? Who are you?" he asked, starting to panic. "Where's my mommy?"

"You're in my car. This is the driver, Ricky, my nephew, Harry, and I am Jasmine. Your mommy had to go away, and she wanted us to watch you. What's your name?"

"My name is Christian Stovitz, but you can call me Chris. Is my mommy okay? Daddy said he was going to kill us because we have magic. He hates magic. He found yesterday, and left for the night. Mommy said that he had to 'cool down' but then he came home this morning with a gun. Mummy hid me in a closet and I heard shots and screaming, then whispers, and you found me. Then I fell asleep. Did you make me sleep?" Christian demanded.

"Yes, she made you sleep. Your mummy is dead. But it gets easier, though you will still be upset for at least three years. Maybe longer, I'm not sure," Harry frowned, looking at Jasmine. "Does it get less sad?"

"It doesn't get less sad, but it does hurt less," Jasmine replied. She was uneasy about Christian's silence.

"Are your mommies dead too?" Christian asked quietly.

"Yes. But we have to get on a plane now, so auntie Jasmine is going to pretend that you're her nephew, and she's going to change your appearance a bit, because everyone thinks that you're dead too. And we have to pretend that she's our auntie, just because that's what it says on the passport. Though she really is my auntie. And our last name is, um, what is it auntie Jasmine?"

"Kingston love."

"Yeah, Kingston. So are you going to be okay Chris, or do you have to go to sleep again?"

"I think I want to go to sleep. But will I still wake up if I have a nightmare?" Christian's face showed worry once more.

"I can cast a charm that will make you happy, and then when I cast the sleep spell, it will still work so you'll only have happy dreams, okay?"

"Alright. Can I- I mean if you don't mind-"

"What is it sweetie?" Jasmine prompted him.

"Can I still call you Auntie Jasmine after we get off the plane?" he mumbled.

"Of course love. Now we should get going, especially if I want to get tickets! An overnight flight to London, nonstop, that'll be fun. Especially since the Olympics just ended, all sorts of people are trying to get out of here. Oh well. Not much to be done about it I suppose. It's a good thing you packed two suitcases Harry, that way it won't look as weird for Chris not having one. Oh well, off we go!" Jasmine carried Christian, seeing as how he was sleeping, and still managed to carry her purse and two suitcases, while Harry had his and a backpack.

Once they were on the plane Jasmine placed Christian in a seat and after securing him, made sure that Harry was safely secured, before sitting down herself. Making sure that Christian was still asleep and Harry was happily coloring, she took out an old worn copy of Pride and Prejudice, as she hadn't read it in a while.

This definitely wasn't what she expected when waking up this morning.

 **Authors Note 2:** If you can figure out the mystery of Melinda's brother then yay! I hinted at it last chapter, but no one noticed! Oh well, all shall be revealed... eventually. :) If you can guess though, the first person to get it right gets to know a secret about where the story's heading. And I know that the Olympics were in 1984. Jasmine's just forgetting that it's now 1983. Also, I'm on the fence about whether to kill Jasmine off. I know that in the movie she was dead when Cher was a baby, but obviously this didn't happen here. I could always kill her off later so that Mel could marry Gale and consider Josh a son, but I would have to do it soon, and I like Jasmine, so I'm still not sure what to do. So, advice! A review would be nice! (Hey, I rhymed!) Sooooo anyway, yes, all of this is me trying to get more reviews because, well, I like them. They fill me with confidence and hope, and incentive to write more. :) Happy Pride and Prejudice Day! (It was first published in the United Kingdom on January 28th 1813!) And yes I just made that up! (Er, I meant calling it Pride and Prejudice day... Though it really did come out today in 1813!) And I'm sorry if the little kids don't sound little-kidish. Most of the little kids I know are far to mature for their age, so I'm not sure if I'm getting this down right... Oh, and I stayed up late(ish) to get this out today, risking the wrath of my future self... So I really hope you all liked this chapter. If you didn't, I'm sorry and I'll try harder next time, make sure to leave your suggestions in a review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create the world of Harry Potter or the world of Clueless. Those belong to the people that they belong to, which are not me.
> 
> This was posted on an old account of mine on fanfiction.net and I wrote it years ago. Original notes are included with the text. I'm thinking of re-writing it, or picking up where I left off, but I wanted to gauge interest first. Leave a review if this is something you'd enjoy reading more of. I want to write more, and I have several ideas, but I also want people to be interested.

**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I still don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.

 **Authors Note:** _Hello my lovely readers! My show is over, so I should have more time to write, as long as school doesn't bog me down with too much work. :( At least my weekends are mostly cleared up now, so that makes weekend up dates another possibility. Thank you to all who have reviewed, I really appreciated it, and I will appreciate any more that you all have to offer. I'm always looking for advice on my stories, so please review and let me know what you think! Oh, and I am trying to have Harry and Christian make grammatical mistakes, because they are four after all. Even so, I think I might have said this before, but they are going to speak almost like a normal adult. This is based on the young children I have met, and what my parents have told me about my childhood. Four year olds are much smarter then some adults give them credit for. Although, they still sometimes mess up your computer files, which is why this chapter is late (among other things). If you want updates on things, my profile is always a good place to start. If I don't update, for what ever reason, I will post why on my profile, unless I run into a serious problem. I don't like to try and make up excuses, but several unfortunate things (all listed on my profile) contributed to the lateness of this chapter. Again, I'm really, really sorry. Onto the story!_

**Chapter 3**

Getting out of the airport with two small children and luggage was no easy task. Christian was walking by himself, but still clung to Jasmine's hand so hard that she was sure that she was losing circulation. Harry was only a little better, clinging to her other side.

With much effort, she managed to get them outside the airport, and arranged to take a town car over to King's Cross. She had been planning to sneak over to Donkey woods and apparate with Harry after shrinking their things, but with the addition of Christian, she had to change her plans. They would take the express to Hogsmeade. It was almost eleven, and though most didn't know this, the express left at eleven every other morning, not just the first of September. On alternate days it went the opposite way.

Once they were all safely on the train, Jasmine set about entertaining the four year olds. They had slept on the flight, and were now fairly hyper, if a bit subdued. Harry wasn't happy being separated from Cher. He had been so caught up in the idea of time travel and Chris, that he had forgotten about how much he missed Cher. Christian himself was conflicted between sadness about the death of his mother, and loathing for his father.

"So Chris, is there anything else you would like to know about us?" Jasmine asked softly.

"Is your last name really Kingston?" Jasmine was startled that this was his question.

"No, it's Horowitz. Well, Harry's is actually Kingston, but since we adopted him he changed it to Horowitz," Jasmine explained.

"I like Horowitz better!" Harry chirped. "Like my sister Cher. Well, she's axually my cousin, but she's like my sister. Do you have any other family besides your parents? Oh! I sorry. I shouldn'ta said that. I sorry," Harry lowered his eyes and bit his lip.

"It's okay. I don't have any family 'cept my daddy's, and I don't think they like magic much either. Can I just stay with you?" Christian's voice sounded distinctly hopefully.

"Of course you can! We're gunna go Auntie Jasmine's great uncle. He and his wife live in a house in that Hogsmeda place! It's all magical people there, we don't have to hide anythin'!" Harry told him cheerfully, all smiles once more.

"Really?" Christian asked with wide eyes.

"Yep! And oh, we're going to have so much fun! Just you wait! I always wanted to have a boy as a friend! I've only really got Cher. Though she is fantastic, I can't wait for you to meet her! Though we'll have to wait a year or so. But 'til then it'll be just us!" Harry was really excited now, and was practically jumping out of his seat.

"I think I'll like that," Christian gave a bright smile.

Ovovovovovovovovovo

To say that Elphinstone Urquart was surprised to see a woman who looked uncannily like a younger version of his deceased sister at his door was an understatement. When the ghost of said sister greeted her however, Elphinstone was flabbergasted.

"Jasmine darling! How are you my dear? We haven't spoken since-"

"You died. And I didn't know that you were a ghost anyway. I'm here because a little research showed me that contrary to popular belief, not all of my family is dead. I'm sorry Sir, I'm being awfully rude. You would be one Elphinstone Urquart wouldn't you?"

The swift change from dry sarcasm to politeness was like a light switch flipped by a mother waking her child up for school, immediate, surprising, and confusing. Nevertheless, Elphinstone had always been good at adapting to fit the situation.

"You have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I do not know yours Miss?"

"Mrs. Jasmine Horowitz. This is an orphan that I am fostering, Christian Archer, and this is my nephew, Harry Kingston-"

"Horowitz! Auntie Jasmine, I want _your_ name!" Harry crossed his arms and put on his angry face, which all the adults around him found adorable.

"Harry, Kingston _is_ my name, my maiden name-"

"I don't care! My name is Harry Lawrence _Horowitz_! And that's final!"

"That is what it says on his passport Auntie Jasmine," Christian added quietly.

"Well, as I am outnumbered, I will have to rephrase. This is my nephew, Harry _Horowitz_ ," Jasmine sighed dramatically, making the boys giggle.

"I'm sorry, but I still don't know who you are," Elphinstone frowned.

"Oh! How silly of me! I'm Melinda's granddaughter, well, one of them anyway. But Beatrice won't speak with me, and my brother Linus is no longer with us. He is- was Harry's father. My mother Sarina is unfortunately, has also passed, as well as my father. It's just me, Cher, Harry, Beatrice and her daughters now in the family. But like I said, she and I don't speak. She's moved to Australia, wants nothing to do with the family anymore. Sad, but true," Jasmine was purposefully overloading him with information, to try and keep him off balance.

"Well do come in please. You're American then eh?" Elphinstone welcomed them in, still a little dazed, but recovering.

"Yes, yes we are. My father was an American, and after mum died he moved us back across the pond. I have duel citizenship, as does Harry. Given that Linus had duel citizenship, Jackie was Welsh, and Harry was born in Cardiff, though they lived in New York it's only natural. Harry's four, he'll be five next May. He was born on mother's day, Jackie was ever so pleased! Once she got over the labor pains anyway," Jasmine continued with her overwhelming babble for a good hour, with Melinda smirking, Harry and Christian laughing while playing go fish, and poor Elphinstone just sat there quietly. Once Jasmine finally stopped to take a breath, Elphinstone inquired as to where they would be staying.

"Oh, well we were planning on getting a room at the leaky Cauldron to start, while looking for a cottage to buy here in Hogsmeade. We were only popping in for a short visit right now. Oh goodness me! It's nearly lunchtime! We really shouldn't have imposed ourselves on you for so long. Come along boys, we can grab a bite to eat at the Three Broomsticks!" Jasmine started to usher them out.

"No, why don't the three of you stay for lunch? My wife will be here shortly, she works up at the castle," Elphinstone offered.

"Oh, why thank you, but we couldn't possible impose on your hospitality!"

"Don't worry about it a bit! You're family! And while I'm at it, I would like to offer the spare bedroom to the three of you, until you get your own accommodations. It has two twin-sized beds, so as long as the boys don't mind sharing, it will accommodate the three of you quite well. Our house elf Minty does all the cleaning and cooking, she'll be serving lunch in about fifteen minutes. Is your luggage still at the Leaky Cauldron?" Jasmine realized that he was trying to overload her just as much as she had done to him, but she kept her cool.

"Well, if you insist. And we still have our luggage, just shrunk. It's all in my purse. We came and saw you first thing, I wanted to make sure that we had time to see you, because if you were busy we were going to come back at a later time," Jasmine told him sweetly.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all dear, I love to meet new family members! Usually they're babies, but grown women with their own children are fine as well!" Elphinstone replied cheerfully.

The door opened, and in walked one Minerva McGonagall. Jasmine had a slight panic attack, hoping beyond hope that Minerva wouldn't recognize her as the girl who visited Lily Evans on Hogsmeade weekends. Fortunately for Jasmine, Minerva did not remember.

"Elphinstone dear, who are these people and why are they here?" Minerva asked with a tight smile.

"This is my niece Jasmine, her nephew Harry, and her foster child Christian. They've decided to come back to Britain for a year or so. Apparently they want to form a family bonding experience by separating the children so that they interact with each other more. Some sort of American thing I suppose," Elphinstone shrugged.

"Are you going to stay for lunch?" Minerva asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually Minnie, I invited them to stay until they get their own cottage. Apparently they're looking to buy in this area," Elphinstone smiled.

"Lovely. Now, we really should have lunch soon, I have a staff meeting in an hour, and I have to eat lunch and get back up to the castle before then," Minerva replied pointedly.

They all sat down at the lunch table and ate their sandwiches quietly until Minerva broke the silence.

"I'm sorry if I seemed a bit harsh, it's just that this while series of events is ever so surprising. Especially since school gets out in a few days. Just know that I don't mind you staying with us at all, I'm just not exactly in the best mood right now. Bill Weasley, one of my new Gryffindors, got into a fight with another student. It seems that the Slytherin in question was a third year, and bullying one of Bill's friends, a muggleborn girl. Bill punched him and broke his nose. When the Slytherin boy then tried to curse Bill, he dodged and kicked his privates. Of course, it's the end of the school year, so we have to decide what to about the situation that will actually stick over the summer. It's a nightmare, honestly," Minerva sighed, helping herself to some chips, or rather, crisps as Minerva would call them.

"I get it. Must be tough to teach in a school. I've always wanted to teach, but I'm not sure that I would do a very good job of it," Jasmine sighed.

"You'd do a great job Auntie Jasmine! You're great at teaching stuff to me and Cher!" Harry exclaimed.

"Harry's right Auntie Jasmine, you're awesome!" Christian's head was nodding furiously in agreement with his new friend.

"Thank you boys, but I couldn't possibly have as much experience as Professor McGonagall. She's not just a teacher, she's also head of Gryffindor House, Deputy Headmistress, and editor and chief of Transfiguration Today. Not to mention she is one of only seven registered Animagi in the country. May I say, that is truly an honor to meet you at last? Sorry, but I just couldn't contain my fangirlishness for a moment there. My brother's wife was very big on transfiguration, she was actually working on her own animagus transformation before-" Jasmine stopped abruptly, and wiped a tear from her eye. She could still remember the last time she saw James, trapped in his stag form for a week as a result of a prank gone wrong, before Jasmine and Lily together managed to turn him back. Jasmine had come back for a week to stay with Lily and baby Harry while James was out doing work for the order. When he had come back, she was persuaded to stay for an extra three days, which turned into a fortnight as she had to work on a way to reverse James' transformation.

Minerva didn't quite know what to say. "Mrs. Horowitz-"

"Please, call me Jasmine. I'm sorry for that. Just let my emotions get the better of me, that's all," Jasmine dabbed at her eyes with a conjured handkerchief.

"Don't worry about it at all dear. I know what it's like to lose oneself in emotions. Please, feel free to call me Aunt Minerva, or even Minnie. As long as you don't let my students hear it," Minerva smiled.

"Thank you Profe- Aunt Minerva. It wasn't just Jackie who liked your articles. Your column on conjuration is particularly enlightening," Jasmine changed to a lighter topic.

"Really? It's only one article so far," Minerva replied in a surprised tone. Jasmine inwardly cursed. Stupid future knowledge.

"Oh, I just assumed that it was going to be a recurring column. It is all rather fascinating to me. Is that sort of thing what you normally teach at Hogwarts? I've only ever heard stories about it," Jasmine hoped that her tone was appropriate, she didn't want to seem overly eager or nervous, or bullshity. Especially since she was all of those things.

"Well it is actually going to be a column, so you are correct. And if I can get Albus' permission, I'll see if I can take the three of you on a tour of the castle. Common rooms will be off limits of course, since none of you have been sorted, but the rest of the castle is just as interesting. We'll just have to wait, because we don't want the boys to get lost, especially with older students fighting all the time. Speaking of which, I'm going to be late. Please excuse me," Minerva stood up from the table.

"Well good luck dealing with your students! We'll be happy to wait for a tour," Jasmine gave a wide smile.

"Bye Auntie Minnie!" Harry waved his hand furiously, which Christian then copied.

"Yeah, seen you later!" the boys stopped waving as Minerva left the room, followed by Elphinstone.

"I'll walk you to the door dear," he told her smoothly. They stood on the front step with the front door closed behind them.

"Are you sure that we can trust them Phin?" Minerva asked quietly.

"I think we can. They were able to cross the wards easily, there's no maliciousness to their natures. I have a feeling that she was holding some things back, but we are honestly some of the only family she has left. Her brother, parents, grandparents aunts and uncles, all dead. All she has is her intimidate family. Her only sister moved to Australia and refuses to speak with her! And Melinda recognized her and vouched for her, before floating off somewhere," Elphinstone replied convincingly.

"Well if you're sure-"

"I am."

"Alright then, I suppose we'll trust them. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go settle this dispute before Severus rescues his snake and Burke gets off scot-free once more. I swear, that boy should be expelled, but since he's a _pureblood_ , that'll never happen," Minerva snarled, thankfully that their privacy and silencing wards spread over into the garden and front step. No one could hear them, or remember anything distinguishing about their actions. To anyone outside of the wards, it would look like a casual conversation.

"You've got to calm down love, you're working yourself into a right state. I know how bad pureblood bigots can be, but don't judge us all like that you know," Elphinstone stroked her cheek before kissing her lightly.

"Thank you for that. You're correct, I need to approach this with a cool head. You know I wasn't including you with those idiots. I shall be going know. I'll see you for dinner?" Minerva composed herself.

"Of course love. I'll get minty to cook up something special. Perhaps stovies? I know they're your favorite," Elphinstone grinned at the way Minerva's eyes seemed to light up.

"You know me all to well. I love you, and don't you ever change," she gave him a soft kiss before walking outside the wards and disapparating.

"It took asking over twenty times, but damn I'm glad she said yes on the twenty-first," Elphinstone smiled to himself as he walked back inside.

**Authors** **Note** **2:** _Please do review, it's what really keeps me going, and on the right track for a story! And again, I'm super sorry for the slow update, life has just been ridiculously crazy these days... See my profile for details, if you care anyway. Oh! And before I forget, I know it's February 9_ _th_ _, but in Britain (where this Harry Potter is based) it's February 10_ _th._ _. Besides, more interesting stuff has happened on February 10_ _th_ _, as opposed to February 9_ _th_ _anyway. So without any further ado: On February 10th, 1755 Montesquieu, a French Writer and philosopher during the enlightenment, died, having been born in 1689. Then, only eight short years (to the day) later, The 1763 Treaty of Paris ends the French and Indian War and France cedes Quebec to Great Britain. On the same day, 77 years later in 1840 Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom marries Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, starting the tradition of the Bride wearing a white dress in her wedding._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create the world of Harry Potter or the world of Clueless. Those belong to the people that they belong to, which are not me.
> 
> This was posted on an old account of mine on fanfiction.net and I wrote it years ago. Original notes are included with the text. I'm thinking of re-writing it, or picking up where I left off, but I wanted to gauge interest first. Leave a review if this is something you'd enjoy reading more of. I want to write more, and I have several ideas, but I also want people to be interested.

**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I still don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.

 **Authors Note:** _I'm really sorry about having such a late update. A little over a year. I feel rather terrible. This is the last chapter before a time jump to Harry eleven years old, which, because of time travel is 1990. It's also very short, because there wasn't much else I wanted to put with him this young, and I wan't the jump to be an obvious chapter switch._

Harry was having trouble adjusting to life without Cher and Mel, but having Jasmine helped, and Chris was fun to have around. They also tried to make friends with the local kids in Hogsmede, but it was hard. Most of the kids their age had known each other all of their lives, and didn't much like Harry and Chris. They made fun of their American accents, and called them names. There were only two girls who would play with them, but even then only sometimes.

One day Chris was hiding in the attic. Billy was being mean again and he and Mark wouldn't let Chris play with them. Whenever he got sad, Chris hid in the attic because the cottage had a lot of attic space with plenty of places to hide. When he went to go hide in his usual spot in one of the wardrobes he found it occupied, which wasn't as unusual as one might suppose.

"Hi Chris," Harry's large green eyes met Chris's blue one's as the two four-year-olds looked at each other.

"Hi Harry," Chris sniffled. Harry scooted over to make room for Chris in the wardrobe and Chris entered closing the doors so that they were in the dark.

"Are Billy and Mark being mean again?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yeah. Ever since Auntie Minnie talked to they're mummies they've gotten worse. Are Sandra and Amy still doing girly stuff that they won't let you do?" Chris returned with another question.

"Yep," Harry replied.

"Why are they so mean?" Chris started to cry he stopped when Harry pecked him on the lips.

"When Unca Mel's sad, Auntie Jasmine kisses him and makes it better," Harry explained. If they could've seen each other in the dark they would have noticed each other blushing.

"It works I think, but we shouldn't do it in front of everyone else. They might be meaner. This way it'll be a secret," Chris pulled Harry into a hug and kissed him in turn.

"Our secret then," Harry hugged back, as they cuddled in the wardrobe on top of the old coats piled inside, and proceeded to fall asleep.

Ovovovovovovovovo

"Uncle Phin, have you seen Harry or Chris lately? It's time for dinner," Jasmine asked, calling out from the kitchen into the living room where Phin was reading a book.

"No, last I saw them they were playing upstairs," Phin answered absentmindedly.

"Well they aren't there," Jasmine was starting to get worried. She knew that neither Harry nor Chris wanted to separate, and this being their last dinner together was making them anxious. She didn't realize that they would go so far as to hide though.

Searching through the house Jasmine found them hiding in the closet of the guest room. They were curled up together in a pile of spare sheets. Sighing she shook them awake. They had to be separated sometime, even if it broke her heart to do so.

**Authors** **Note** **2:** _For the record, about the kissing thing, that actually did happen with two of my friends when they were younger. It's what little kids like to call practice. It's not romantic or anything, it's just what little kids do, because they see adults do it and want to try. Well at least they did when I was that age. And it's not with tongues or anything, just a little peck. It's really not that big of a deal. And if anyone tries to tell me that real boys don't cuddle with other boys, like some ignorant people do, you're wrong. I know plenty, and especially those as young as four and five like Harry and Chris are.  
_

_Edit: On February 13th 1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for his trial before the Spanish Inquisition. Just five years later Spain recognized Portugal as an independent nation. Jane Boleyn and Catherine Howard were both beheaded on this day in 1542._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create the world of Harry Potter or the world of Clueless. Those belong to the people that they belong to, which are not me.
> 
> This was posted on an old account of mine on fanfiction.net and I wrote it years ago. Original notes are included with the text. I'm thinking of re-writing it, or picking up where I left off, but I wanted to gauge interest first. Leave a review if this is something you'd enjoy reading more of. I want to write more, and I have several ideas, but I also want people to be interested.

**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I still don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.

 **Authors Note:** So I decided not to kill off Jasmine. I like her too much. I now have a rather rough outline for this story since I decided not to kill her off. And I am terribly sorry for such a short chapter once again; however, this just seemed to be its natural stopping point, Chapter six will be up tomorrow! That is enough with the author's note, so without further ado, here is Chapter five of A Clueless Cousin!

**Chapter 5**

"Harry wake up! Wake up wake up wake up!"

"What do you want Cher? I was sleeping!" Harry groaned as he sat up and stretched. It was no use trying to get back to sleep now.

"Well I guess you don't want your Hogwarts letter then," Cher hopped off the bed where she had been perched.

"My Hogwarts letter? You have my Hogwarts letter?"

"Well yes, but I supposed you didn't want it, since you would rather sleep."

"Don't be ridiculous! Gimmie the letter!"

"I don't think so," Cher sniffed.

"Cher-"

"Okay fine!"

_Mr. H. Horowitz_

_The Third Largest Suite_

_Beverly Hills_

_California_

_United States_

"It's real! It's really real! I'm going to Hogwarts!" Harry was jumping up and down. Meanwhile the smile had slipped off of Cher's face. "What's wrong Cher?" Harry asked his sister curiously.

"I didn't get one," she told him quietly. He looked at her confusedly. "I'm not going with you."

"What?"

Ovovovovovovo

It took some consoling and some convincing before Harry consented to going to Hogwarts without Cher. It was decided that Cher would continue to take the magic classes offered at their after schools while Harry went away to Hogwarts. Cher was going to continue living a mostly muggle life, albeit with magical supplements.

But Harry was going away to Scotland, where his parents went to school. And besides, Hogwarts was where Chris was going to be. Growing up so far away from each other hadn't lessened the boys' friendship. Almost every day they chatted over mirrors, during Harry's mornings and Christian's afternoons. During the summers they both flitted between California and Scotland, Cher soon becoming a good friend of Christian's as well.

Christian didn't like coming back to California very much, as it reminded him of his old family, and fears that his father's family would try to take him back. However they learned that Christian's father had most of his family in Chicago, and his mother had no family. So Christian relaxed and fully settled into his life as Christian Urquart, even adopting a fully Scottish accent like his mother Minerva.

Minerva and Phin had soon discovered the truth of Harry's parentage, but they accepted it and consented to keeping it a secret. Minerva confessed that she never liked Petunia, and she thought Jasmine was the better choice. She had always said that they were the worst sort of muggles, and she remembered being introduced to Jasmine by Lily.

Before long it was time to say goodbye as Harry was boarding the plane from LAX to Heathrow. He was meeting his Aunt Minerva on the other side. Having a muggle father, she was certain to keep up with the times in the muggle world, and had full knowledge of airports. Phin, on the other hand, was slightly oblivious, and had to be helped by Christian to navigate around customs. Nevertheless, all three were happy to see Harry come out, and welcome him to his home country.

As Harry looked out at this extension of his family, he accepted the fact that maybe things in the United Kingdom could be okay without his family from the United States.

 **Authors Note 2:** Reviews are very appreciated, they are the only reason that I have decided to continue with this story!

 **P.S.** Today in 2001, the first draft of the complete human genome was published in Nature. Susan B. Anthony would be 194 today. Nat King Cole died 95 years ago today. (For the future, today is February 15th 2014).


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create the world of Harry Potter or the world of Clueless. Those belong to the people that they belong to, which are not me.
> 
> This was posted on an old account of mine on fanfiction.net and I wrote it years ago. Original notes are included with the text. I'm thinking of re-writing it, or picking up where I left off, but I wanted to gauge interest first. Leave a review if this is something you'd enjoy reading more of. I want to write more, and I have several ideas, but I also want people to be interested.

**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own _Harry Potter_ , because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I still don't know who owns the rights to _Clueless_ , but it certainly isn't me.

**Authors Note:** **Props go to my friend Sophie Cinders for helping me with ideas and phrasing. She also helped with last chapter, I just forgot to credit her then. For future reference, I am feeling extremely guilty that I have not updated in so long, which is why there have been these three admittedly short chapters so fast. I am not sure that I will be able to find the time to write this much this fast in the future. School makes things VERY difficult. That said, as promised, below is Chapter six of** **_A Clueless Cousin_ ** **.**

**Chapter 6**

After a wonderful two days simply reacquainting himself with Hogsmede and his family after being away since last summer, Harry went with Chrisn and Minerva to Diagon Alley to pick up school supplies. He still still couldn't believe that he was going to Hogwarts. After they collected everything Minerva had some business at the bank, and left them with some spare change. Of course they headed straight for Florean Fortescue's.

"You know Harry, this is the opposite of how it usually is," Chris said absentmindedly as he licked his ice cream cone.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow. Or, at least he tried to raise his eyebrow. It looked more like a face twitch. His Uncle Mel did it much better.

"Well I just mean that you are usually with Cher in California and leaving me in Scotland to learn with all of these Brits. However, now you are going to Hogwarts with me, and Cher has to learn with spoiled California girls."

"True enough. But Cher can handle them."

"Of course she can. She's Cher!" They laughed in unison, and Harry reflected on the fact that as much as he missed Cher, was good to see Christian in person instead of just his face in a mirror.

Ovovovovovovo

Harry and Chris thought it ridiculous, that even though they were living in Hogsmede, Minerva and Phin insisted that the boys take the train to Hogwarts. Some sort of tradition apparently. So they begrudgingly got up and flooed to the Leaky Cauldron to take a muggle cab to King's Cross.

They got onto the platform all right and Phin gave them each a hug.

"I'll come and see you sometime. After all students under third year really aren't supposed to go into Hogsmede," he told them with a wink.

"Honestly Phin, don't encourage them!" Minerva scolded.

"You know you would too if you didn't have to be the proper Professor all the time love."

"Well that may very well be; however, that isn't really the point at the moment now is it?"

Harry and Chris rolled their eyes at the blatant flirting their elderly family members where exhibiting.

Seeming to have eyes in the back of her head, Minerva turned to face the boys and they immidiately straighted up.

"Now you too, behave yourselves, and don't go expecting any special treatment just because you are family."

"Of course not," Chris mocked looking hurt.

"We would never dream of it," Harry added with a similar expression on his face.

"You wound us-"

"With your assumptions. When-"

"Have we ever-"

"Done anything-"

"Untoward?"

"Just get on the train you miscreants before you give Minnie a heart attack," Phin laughed.

"Just one thing," Christian's eyes sparkled with mischief.

"You're not our Professor yet right?" Harry asked psuedo-innocently.

"Yes," Minerva answered warily.

"Goodbye Mum!" Christian tackled her with a hug and a kiss on the cheak before sprinting off. Harry repeated this with a "Bye Aunt Minnie, see you at the feast!" The two of them left a startled Minerva, a cackling Phin, and several shocked Senior Hogwarts students.

This included the Weasley family who had seen the tail end of this interaction, all with mixed results. Molly looked on with disapproval. Arthur was holding in laughter. Charlie was shocked and amused. Percy was indignant that someone would address a Professor as such. The twins were in awe. Ron wasn't paying much attention, and Ginny was thinking that the two boys were awfully cute, all the while lamenting her inability to enter Hogwarts for another two years.

Ovovovovovovo

Chris and Harry high-fived one another as they settled into their compartment.

"You know Aunt Minnie is going to be pissed at us right?"

"Eh, Mum will get over it, she always does."

"We should be careful, or she will give us detention, and with someone else so that it isn't favoritism."

"True enough. As long as it isn't Filch or Snape. Filch is downright nasty and Snape still hasn't gotten over me asking whether or not he even knew what shampoo was and that happened ages ago."

"Chris that was three months ago. Actually, every three months for the past five years. I should've thought you would learn by now."

"I did learn. I learned it was fun."

"Dude you're crazy."

"Yeah well you're jealous."

"Jealous of what? Your insanity?"

"Well I would call it-"

There was a knock on the compartment door. Harry opened it to find a pair of redheaded twins.

"Hello."

"We're the Weasley Twins."  
Ovovovovovovo

"So then Chris said-"

"That's not my hand," Christian supplemented.

"And she freaked out like nobody's business I'm talking-"

Ovovovovovovo

"Let me tell you about the time we transfigured Ron's teddybear into a spider-"

Ovovovovovovo

"Honestly I never seen Jasmine laugh as much as when Dionne and Cher got into her self applying makeup!"

"The blue didn't come out of their hair for weeks!"

Ovovovovovovo

"But seriously never piss Ginny off. That bat bogey curse hurts like a mother-"

"Fred not in front of the children!"

"Hey I'm not-"

"Doesn't matter Christian, McGonagall is your mother. We're not going there," George cut him off.

"Would you look at that-"

"Time to get off the train!"

"Our apprentices need-"

"To go see Hagrid."

"Remember guys-"

"You have Slytherin minds-"

"But they'll work better for you in Gryffindor."

 **Authors Note 2:** Reviews are very appreciated, they are the only reason that I have decided to continue with this story after all!

On February 16th: In 1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Pharaoh Tutankhamun. In addition one of my favorite authors, Maureen Johnson, is celebrating her 41st birthday today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the chapters that have already been written! There probably won't be any more published if there is no interest. I would like to know if there is any interest in this story, because if there is I will be writing more of it! I missed this story, but I am also trying to not fail out of university and I need to make sure everything is prioritized.


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